I don’t know about you, but I’m constantly wondering if I’m praying to God for the right reasons, especially for leaders or people of influence. Unfortunately, that has also kept me from praying for people or things plenty of times. Take music for example. I’ve never been the kind of person to really like a particular band or person in the entertainment industry (mostly because I’m always getting into new music). However, the last few years that has changed and now I have a few bands and singers that I tend to follow and I’m interested in. That being said, a lot of them are not Christian bands and so at times, I have the thought to pray for them. Sometimes I do, most times I don’t. The reason: I wonder if praying for anything you benefit from is selfish. I’m not putting this out there because it is a good thing, rather because I think it’s another sign of toxic and over thinking. In the case of music, I “benefit” from the artist’s music that inspires me and
shows me a good mirror of where I am currently can be a source of words to areas where I had none previously.
I’m not sure if that’s an issue for anyone else, but it definitely has been for me. I’ve had problems in the past about praying for my own health, if I was sick, for the same reasons. “Am I being selfish for praying for something that benefits me?”
I wonder if that has to do with a form of inadequacy or self-hatred of some sort. I’m not sure. I definitely think there are prayers of selfishness — I’m just now questioning if these, in particular, fit into that category as well.