I love music, I admit it. I listen to wide variety of things and listening to music has helped my improve my singing over the years. Instrumental, lyrical; I love piecing together how they did it and why they chose which sounds they did. And don’t even get me started on music video production…
When I was younger I remember trying to make up songs. They were terrible of course, so I quit. I’ve always wanted to play the guitar and one Christmas I got one. It too sounded horrible, but at that time I was more focused on reading fiction than I was on finding a “how to play guitar” manual.
Why, younger me? Why?!
I did a little piano (my parent’s decision, not mine), but though I love the sound, it never spoke to me personally as a musician. I truly apologize to my former piano teacher for my slacking – it wasn’t your fault I didn’t enjoy the instrument or that I was a terrible student.
During this time I started liking the drums, though I wasn’t able to learn it.
A fast forward to a few years to the present. A rusty reluctant piano learner, who never picks up the guitar except every once in a blue moon, and plays finger drums on the table or her lap. I do like using the guitar to create melodies. Again, I’m probably doing it wrong since I don’t know how to play but it’s something.
As for writing music?
Uh…I don’t write “music”, I’ve only tried lyrics.
Which I still kinda suck at. But I think I’m improving? Maybe? I honestly can’t tell the difference between writing lyrics, spoken words, and poems. (Please don’t stone me!) Obviously, there’s a difference. I’m just not good at spotting it in my own writing.
My “resistance” in music is probably just not wanting to sound stupid – which ties into my perfectionism problem – especially since music has never been something I’ve considered for a career. I’ve mostly written it off as a hobby as well, instead, making enjoying other’s music one of my hobbies.
Well, why can’t I have both?
I’m not saying I’ll ever be good at it, but I don’t believe in writing something off simply because it’s my weak spot.
Rather the opposite.
Working on my weaknesses until they become my strengths or a beacon of perseverance for someone else.
I can’t dance, though. If I become a good dancer you’ll know God still does miracles. That, and math.
Who knows: maybe me stepping out as a musician/singer will give me the boost to try out dance? or maybe dorky dancing can become a thing again (if it ever left). I’m looking at you 1980s and 90s.
I’m always up for experimenting so maybe I’ll put something up here at some point…
We shall see indeed.