So here’s a thought: what life might you live, what parts of your life and being would you do differently if you knew it would harm no one and there were no hindrances and time and supplies weren’t an issue. In a sense, in you were the last living person how would you live? What might change, or not, out of your regular lifestyle?
For me, I like to think/imagine that I would definitely dress differently. I’m not so sure whether that’s because I wouldn’t have to deal with guys, there would be no one to judge me (more religious folks than not), or due to the fact that I currently don’t have the money and space for the clothes I’d like the most. I actually like fashion, but the idea of buying clothes actually makes me feel guilty and selfish, since well, how does anyone else benefit from it?
I would create. No doubt about it. Anything I could lay my hands on and in any space of my choice. I wouldn’t be afraid of being useless and having nothing to contribute. I would litter the world with whatever was in my heart. Songs, carvings, paintings, fashion (both made and with what I wore), and so on. I’d just want to see the world be made beautiful. Whatever I didn’t already know, I’d learn and master. I’d experiment and create new ways of doing things not yet seen or done before. I could move from workspace to workspace around the world.
I would learn and study. Lost cultures and old ways. Languages and read things from the before and create for after me, cause who knows.
Back to the creating thing, if time isn’t any issue, I’d probably study science at some point and do something with that.
Basically, I think I would live freer than I am now. Realizing that I have a limited time here on this earth I’m constantly thinking: how can I make everything count. Creating. Wishing and making things happen. Social standings (identity, “equality”, gender, race, freedom, human trafficking, etc.). Speaking into the lives of those around me. NOT BURNING OUT (which I am currently not doing so hot at). And so on. How do we do life balancing right? I know I’m not doing it well. I need help. We all do.
Doing life right, right? How does one do that? God only knows. How could I become a better version of myself in my present reality, with patience and time just a little less forgiving without a petition to the King Himself? Of course, we do live in a world without limits. We are the ones who limit ourselves and our potential. I guess what I’m thinking is more along the lines of how will it affect the world around me.
In where I’m at right now I just question a lot of things. Constantly questioning: “Is this really what I was meant for and meant to do?” Sometimes I just want a sign or something that shows me that I’m doing the right things and moving in the right directions to know that I’m not wasting my time, God’s time, and the time of those around me. Something obvious to myself and others that God is proud of what I was doing, that He cares about these projects; a sign that He is with me and for what I’m doing, I suppose.
Am I keeping the main thing that main thing? I want to be like David; a woman after God’s own heart. I’m okay with going after what Solomon did, but not at the expense of losing what’s most important. I mean if I lose that, what’s the point? Right??
What is the main thing? God Himself, or what He wants to be done? Are they on the same level? Is doing for Him showing how much we love Him? If I do nothing, I’m nothing to Him, myself, and the world’s people. Literally doing nothing is lazy, but sometimes it’s resting, BUT HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE…I do not know.
When is soon in Kingdom time? Nobody knows, for it always varies. *sigh*