Lessons I’ve Learned…over the past year (and still in the process of learning!)

I am a Powerful Person

No, I may not be superwoman, nor can I fix all of the world’s problems in the blink of an eye, but I can take care of me. I can learn about myself; how I work, function, my strengths and weaknesses.

That which makes me tick.

I can change into the person I want to be and not into who everyone expects or thinks I should be. I can value myself for who God made me at my core, and not the person who’s been shaped by their circumstances or choices.

I am powerful enough to make changes inside of me and show others through my changes how then can do the same in their own lives.

Everyone’s a world changer.

Everyone’s a powerful person.

 

 

Not Every Season looks the same

My spiritual seasons have been all over the place and I’ve been out in the rain, after knowing the storm would come, but I forgot my umbrella.

One thing I’ve learned is that just because someone offers me advice, it doesn’t mean I have to take it for face value. Sometimes people say things and if you listen hard enough, instead of getting offended, you’ll realize God meant it for something specific, especially in one season versus another.

Another thing, though this may seem rather obvious, is the fact that because not all seasons are the same, I have no right to judge my seasons based on those around me. A lot of times that can make my life seem much better or much worse than those around me. Who am I to compare, though? Everyone’s at a different stage in their life and age at this point becomes rather irrelevant. You had people who are killing it at life and you have people who are not yet killing on the outside, but they have a plan and focus on getting there. You have those who have not purpose or any idea what their dreams are. And numerous more scenarios at all different ages. We’re all right where we’re supposed to be, even if we aren’t. God can turn everything we give Him into something.

You might be like me, right now in a slower, yet simultaneous pushy season and God has a different side of Himself for you to experience in this very moment, that you might not get to experience in your next season. It’s about living with God in a relationship, getting to process and grow wherever you’re at right now.

 

 

Being Mature doesn’t mean pushing your feelings aside to be trampled on

For a long time, I’ve brought into the lie that it’s one or the other; one wins, one loses. That may be true of games but not as true in life. (There are absolutes, but I’m not talking about those right now.)

The top of my frustrations would probably be dealing with really strong personalities. I like to say that there are no mellow people in my house. We’re all either stubborn or strong-willed (and believe me, there is a difference!). I personally butt heads with the strong-willed people more often than not (and this goes beyond just family).

Before this year I would silently put up with stuff. Let it slide and occasionally get really ticked off and explode. Now I realize that I have a voice too. I don’t have to push myself and my emotions down in order to keep the peace.

Just because you’re the loudest person in the room, or the “boss” somewhere that doesn’t automatically make you right. And sometimes both parties can be right and wrong at the same time.

What?!

Yes, it’s true.

Have I completely gotten this down? No way. I still have plenty of times where I fall into old patterns and let people plow over me, but I’m getting stronger and keeping my boundaries.

 

I believed that in certain things I could or couldn’t be happy if some else was or wasn’t. Sometimes out of jealousy, other times in compassion.

I got mad at happy couples (not all but lots) because I was bitter about being single. I should have been happy for them and happy with where I was at the time. I didn’t have to let their happiness steal my joy.

I was mad at God when I was younger because  I was born in a country that gave me every opportunity if I was willing to take it, while there are others who were born into trash dumps or abusive homes and so on. Because what right did I have to be happy if someone else was suffering? Instead, I could be showing gratefulness to God for letting me gain what I have in spirit, health, and so on and learning how to get it from me to them. Or better yet, teaching them how to make a change in the midst of their madness. (Yes, I know that it’s not as simple as that, but you have to start somewhere.)

 

 

Great Friendships can happen at great distances

A lot of people throughout my life have moved away and I made the mistake of not keeping better contact with them. It was hard enough with just one friend at a time. Now I have friends in colleges all over the place, in other countries (either temporarily, or citizens of other nations), and other around the states. I’m in over my head here.

But, I don’t regret befriending who I have. Even those who I’ve known from the beginning there’d be a great distance permanently.

Part of me fears it to be honest. “Will these relationships end like the old ones did?” Some might. And that’s okay. Some people are meant for different seasons of your life.

Do I intend for these too? Nope. God put these people in my life. Even if I can’t text them more often, seeing them face to face, or whatever, I’m still here for them. My tribe is ever growing and ever moving.

 

 

Perfectionism doesn’t equal Excellence

I’ve been a perfectionist for years. My standards are exceptionally high. So high in fact that it keeps me from stepping out and taking risks for fear of failure. Because, after all, I can’t tarnish my record…right?

So high that when I fail it’s crushing and replays like a horror film in the theatre of my mind. Procrastination became a good friend of mine. Someone else might do the same thing and I think oh well, but if I messed it up you might as well blow up all of the evidence and the shame pours on like caramel. Sticky, and hard to remove.

It’s pretty suffocating let me tell you. Do not let perfectionism become your friend. It sounds very logical at times, but it never lets you get things done, whether it’s stuff that bores you or things you enjoy.

It’s that friend that’ll bring over snacks and watch movies day after day, then make fun of your weight and call you lazy. That one the says, “You can’t call yourself a writer or an artist! People will expect stuff of you now! What have you done you, idiot? Now everyone will find out how much you don’t know what you’re doing!” The one that says, “You remember that thing you sucked at as a kid? Yeah, don’t even try to develop that as a hobby. You’ll just make yourself look bad.”

Perfectionism needs a punch in the face. I really haven’t figured out the excellence portion yet. I’m still daily fighting perfectionism, and I’m tired of having my butt handed to me. Writing and posting on this blog is a part of my fight back. Not everything must be perfect. Putting out hard work and facing my fears is a good step in the right direction.

 

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So there you go. These are a few things that I’ve learned over the past year. I’ll start putting up these “Things I’ve Learned/am Learning…” once a month on a variety of subjects.

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